Road-Trip-Through-The-Bible-Belt Goat-Stock 2011
a parody by Caliann Graves
From the homes teading today goat fourm Dec 2010

Theme song:

I like big goats and I cannot lie
...you crazy ladies can't deny...
That when a doe's top line
rises past your bee-hind
and her udder's so thick and fine
you get sprung!
Having too much fun...
--
Cuz you notice that doe was done
Deep in the chest, like a faring
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, I need you in my barn as a fixture
I'll take your picture
And share with all my friends
You're so wide, and tall, and deep
You're the doe I'm gotta keep
Ooh, rump of smooth hair
Your color's got flair
Nubie, Mancha, Alpie, Saanie...you ain't the average Nannie...

I've seen them wheelin'
To hell with hagglin' and dealin'
She's sweet, and set, got it goin like a turbo vette

I'm tired of forum, e-zines
Saying Mini goats are the thing
Take the average Goatie Gal and ask her that, she'll say...
Doe's gotta pack much back

So Ladies (yeah) Ladies (yeah)
Are your goats stacked to the rack? (hell yeah)
Well, dance it, prance it, and be thankful for the fact
Your does have got back...

(U.K. head with a Texas udder...)

I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a dig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get her home
And send to my buck alone...
I aint talkin bout souses
Just that miniature things are made for doll houses...
I wannem real big and think
So find that breed that clicks
Crazy Goat Gals are in trouble
Buy a kid out of Miss Bubbles
So I'm lookin' at websites
Knockin these goats with legs like sprites
You can have them goats
I'll keep my does like Flo Jo
A word to the big goat breeders
I wanna pay and feed ya
I won't slam or demean ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna BUY
All your does and bucks
Your lines got me awe-struck
Alot of breeders won't like this song
Cuz them jerks breed to sell it, repel it
But I'd rather be responsible
Cuz I'm smart and conscionable
And I'm down to get the milkin' on

So doelings (yeah), doelings (yeah)
Do you wanna race my buck a furlong? (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even N.D.'s got to shout
Baby got back

(U.K. head with a Texas Udder)

Yeah Goat Gals
When it comes to does
Fashion ain't got nothin to do with my selection
26 inch maximum height?
Only if she's laying down....

So your goats are tiny and little
And fit as a fiddle
But a fiddle don't milk a bit, not even a dribble
My milkin' hands don't want none unless you've got teats hun
You can breed for short muzzles and ears
But please don't lose that size-up
Some breeders wanna play that hard role
And tell you that standards ain't gold
So they toss 'em and leave 'em
And I call up quick to retrieve 'em
So the forums says their fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz they're "well conditioned", and there ain't no guiltin'
And I'm thinkin bout milkin'
To the tiny does takin' off with shows
You aint it, Miss Goat
Give me a standard, I can't resist her
Alfalfa and grain didn't miss her
Some insane woman tried to dis
Cuz her goats were on my list
she had game but she chose to dry 'em
And I called up fast to buy 'em
So does if the rumen is round
And you wanna be pampered from your horn buds on down
Dial 1-800-CRAZYGOATGALS and prepare to be grained by the pound
Your does have got back...
My does have got back.....
Little in the hooves but she got much back...
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